Web-Wondrous Procrastination

If you, like me, have work to be doing, deadlines to be meeting, life to be getting on with yada yada… procrastination is probably where you’re really at 70% of the time. Our generation has been blessed with technological advancements that have brought the skill of time-wasting to extreme heights. Long gone are the days of daisy-chain making, mindless and male-dominated video gaming, or watching brain-numbing soap operas on the TV: we’re the web age, and boy can we procrastinate.

I’d like to think I’m pretty skilled at it – as most 21 year olds studying an arts degree are (no h8 plz lolz) – and I thought I’d share with you some little gems from the interweb where I spend serious brain power and effort, instead of conventionally productive avenues, such as completing essays…

Be this your last warning to stop reading: the following content is guaranteed to dispose of valuable working hours. I take no responsibility for any grades failed forthwith.

Great. Well if you’re still here, in no particular order, here’s some wonderful places to use up precious time under whatever category tickles your fancy, complete with Estimated Time Wasted (ETW) warning for the true follow-up procrastinator.

Fashion: Millie McIntosh’s Style Blog
ETW: 50mins
If you’re into fashion, this daily style blog is so pretty it’ll make you cry. Of course, some of us have the money and reputation to make such things happen. Others can only weep at their achievements and continue to slog. MacIntosh will give you reason to be intensely jealous over 2D images. The clothes too.

© Millie MacIntosh
© Millie MacIntosh

Film Short: Biting Elbows – Bad Motherfucker
ETW: 25mins
From Ilya Naishuller, the Russian director of his band Biting Elbow‘s first viral music video for their track ‘The Stampede‘, better known as Insane Office Escape, comes part two in this violent point of view web short. It’s bad, it’s noisy and it is utterly wicked. Don’t be put off (…) by the gorgeous blond and her erm, bikini top, on the opening screen, the short itself is jam packed with second to second, fast-paced action and gore. Playing with POV shoot ’em up style and compilation non-stop thrill you’d be mad not to give it a watch.

Science: The Scale of the Universe 2
ETW: 25mins
This is a wonderful bit of web tech: a cool slidy webpage where you move the scrolling bar to get nauseatingly propelled through animated objects in the universe – from quantum foam (is that a science joke?) to the estimated size of the universe itself. Buckle up for whooshy scientific madness set to trippy music. Not recommended for those under the influence.

© Crary and Michael Huang

Art: UNIQLO Dancers
ETW: 7mins
This art installation is a little unconventional; it’s not a photoblog or an artist or even an illustrator! (Surprise for those of you who know me!) This is  a UNIQLO Mixplay advert directed by Japanese Koichiro Tanaka under UNIQLO’s ingenious Creative Director Kentaro Katsube waaay back in 2006. From what I can find the dance troupe are Hamutsun Serve (はむつんサーブ) and all I can say is click play, and keep watching. No human body should be able to do that.

Animals: True Facts About… by Zefrank
ETW: 1hr
If you’re worried how the world of nature programmes will turn should the immortal David Attenburough, grandfather of a generation, stop teaching us valuable facts about the world we live in: fear no more. Zefrank is here, and sponsored by the BBC (breeding a new generation of broadcasters…?) to bring the best and more amusingly narrated facts about the animal kingdom to the world in concise, no more than your attention span videos. What is it about him that cracks me up so much? Is it the nasal attempt to pronounce words, or the only thing better than Zefrank’s voice: the factual content of this videos. Yes, that’s right. These are facts.

I love you, science.

Intellectual: The Bechdel Test
ETW: 15-40mins (depending on interest)
Intellectual? You think, why would you try and make me watch something even vaguely and tenuously intellectual in my procrastination? Simply this: The Bechdel Test (and it’s updated video The Oscars Bechdel Test) is the type of random thing you come across on the internet and provokes though. Whether it’s  “What other movies pass The Bechdel Test” (Ans: not many) or, “How can I prove this feminist bla bla is – just gibber jabber?” etcetera – guess what? You’re now taking that procrastination plane right off onto an individual and personal tangent. Nice work little video, nice work.

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And last but certainly not least…

Mystery Link: Where it will bring you, nobody knows.
(Apart from me, obviously.)
This week I’m channeling a certain director whose film is probably going to ruin a childhood novel, and the feeling of a 21year old with no direction. A definite internet pick me up. If you haven’t visited this mystery link before – shame on you. You’re in for a treat.

Highlight if you’ve no sense of adventure: Video by Baz Luhrmann and words, Chicago Tribune 1997 columnist Mary Schmich’s. Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen.

And that’s all for this week folks!
Happy Procrastinating to one and all!

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If you’ve any posts, links or web wonders you’d like to see shared with my readers (and a cheeky mention) don’t hesitate to comment or message me with suggestions!

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